Handling The Hard Stuff

Tag: Self-Care

  • Time is a Choice

    We often say things like “I don’t have time for that” or “I can’t, I’m too busy” when the reality is we just aren’t making the time for it. We choose our priorities with our schedule. Try replacing “I don’t have time for that” with “That’s not a high enough priority for me” and see…

  • We Can’t Hack Everything

    This is such a trend lately – every advertisement or online post is Five Quick Ways to XYZ. We are constantly pitched a cheat code or a hack or a quick way to circumvent hard work in order to get the outcome we desire. The reality is that the outcome isn’t nearly as desirably if…

  • Safety Net

    A friend of mine messaged me today to tell me she quit her job – her first professional, career, JOB job – without having another lined up. She was freaking out. She sort of had a plan, she’d loosely lined up additional work to fill the time and space and has a strong likelihood that…

  • Easygoing

    As kids we’re taught to be nice. We’re taught to be polite. And we’re taught to figure out how to get along with each other. Some of us are taught to be silent until spoken to. We learn to be agreeable and go-along-to-get-along. We practice saying yes to things so we can avoid conflict. We…

  • Boundaries do not Mean Beef

    Drawing boundaries does not mean you are picking a fight. It is not an adversarial thing. You are not doing this at someone, you are doing it for yourself. Choosing to unfollow someone on social media does not mean you dislike them or don’t wish them well. It means that your mental health is negatively…

  • Reward Yourself

    We don’t celebrate our wins much as adults. We have a hard time prioritizing the small victories in our daily lives. And even when we do celebrate the little things, we rarely reward ourselves in big or useful ways. When I was little any celebratory act was rewarded with treats. Ice cream or chocolate or…

  • Quiet Quitting

    This is a phrase that’s come about in the last few years that essentially means you’re not “giving your all” to something. It is mostly used in relation to your work identity. It goes hand in hand with someone over the age of 50 grumbling “no one wants to work anymore”. That’s true Jim, no…

  • Don’t Require an Apology

    In so many of my divorce cases, my client will spend so much time and energy being angry at the way their soon-to-be ex has treated them. That anger often dissipates after the first month or so – people learn to cope with their new life, they figure out what it’s going to look like…

  • You Don’t Have to Be Whole to Shine

    Even at funerals people smile and laugh. In the throes of the worst divorce cases, I’ve watched clients find moments of happiness. It is ok – and incredibly important – to find good moments even in the midst of awfulness. The longer we live life, the more likely we are to have dents and scars…

  • Loneliness

    It’s the time of year when the weather makes a lot of us unmotivated to do anything other than hunker down at home. We also don’t see the sun and don’t have a lot of daylight to look forward to and it’s when we’re more likely to feel deep loneliness and isolation. It’s hard to…