As kids we’re taught to be nice. We’re taught to be polite. And we’re taught to figure out how to get along with each other. Some of us are taught to be silent until spoken to.

We learn to be agreeable and go-along-to-get-along. We practice saying yes to things so we can avoid conflict. We are taught that conflict is the worst possible thing.

In reality, settling for dissatisfaction is the worst things there is. Accepting unhappiness as a permanent existence is heartbreaking.

The price we pay for being easygoing is not getting what we want. We give up more and more of what we actually want and how we actually want our lives to be until we barely recognize the life we’re living.

There is definitely a time and place for being agreeable and cooperative. But there is a time and a place for conflict as well. It is not a sin to want more or hold out for specific things. You don’t get special rewards for being the biggest pushover and giving up all the things that matter.

Being easygoing isn’t always a good thing. Standing up for the things that matter is important. Getting comfortable with conflict in circumstances that warrant it is an incredibly useful skill. It isn’t easy for a lot of us. Conflict often makes our insides squirm and tells our instincts to adjust and resolve the conflict. Learning to hold firm for the things that matter to you in the face of conflict and discontent is a challenging but useful skill.

Being easygoing when things aren’t important to you is great. Fighting for the things that matter to you is worth it. The best balance is when you can do both comfortably.

Go along to get along when you can. Stand firm on the things that are important. The only prize for being perpetually easygoing is giving up on the things that may matter to you and no one else.