Handling The Hard Stuff

Tag: Relationships

  • Vulnerability Doesn’t Make You Weak

    I was watching the Oscars this weekend and was struck by Ryan Gosling’s performance of “I’m Just Ken”. I had forgotten the lyrics of the song and how focused it is on how Ken has feelings too. It’s such a trope in our society that we can’t have big feelings. We can’t talk about them,…

  • Pivoting

    Even the best laid plans can fall apart. No matter how thorough and well-researched you are in your planning, there are factors outside your control and sometimes those factors destroy your plans. Learning how to switch gears and figure out next steps from there can be the difference between success and failure in the long…

  • No is a Complete Sentence

    No. Just no. Not “no because…”. Just no. Women especially have a hard time just being firm in their refusal. We feel, either by nature or nurture I’ve never been able to tell, that we owe people an explanation. We do not. When I was a kid I went through a “why” phase, as I’m…

  • Are your Affairs in Order?

    **This is not legal advice. If you want legal advice consult an attorney that practices in your jurisdiction.** We see on television or in movies whenever there is a terminal diagnosis that people should “get their affairs in order”. But what does that mean? In the United States at least, it means be clear about…

  • Silence Speaks Volumes

    You don’t have to buy in to every fight. You don’t have to correct every person you disagree with. You don’t have to educate everyone that you see is wrong. You can just NOT. You can just refuse to engage. You can just continue to disagree and not make it the central feature of your…

  • Don’t Stare at Closed Doors

    When a door closes in life, let it close. Don’t slam it, don’t try to force it open, don’t belabor the door. Let it close. And go find an open door. We spend so much of our lives forcing relationships. Over the years I have had so many clients come to me wanting to fix…

  • You are Doing Better than You Think

    We are terrible at reasonable self-analysis. Invariably we are our own worst critics. We second-guess every choice we’ve made and consider whether things would be better if we’d done things differently. Stop. You are where you are and you’re doing better than you think you are. You are trying. You are changing. Those two things…

  • Trying Harder

    I have a lot of quit in me. I am really good at pushing myself a little but not a LOT. I have never gone “to failure”. I’ve never pushed myself so hard I literally can’t keep going. I’ve never tried to lift something so heavy I needed a spotter to help me finish. I’ll…

  • Safety Net

    A friend of mine messaged me today to tell me she quit her job – her first professional, career, JOB job – without having another lined up. She was freaking out. She sort of had a plan, she’d loosely lined up additional work to fill the time and space and has a strong likelihood that…

  • Easygoing

    As kids we’re taught to be nice. We’re taught to be polite. And we’re taught to figure out how to get along with each other. Some of us are taught to be silent until spoken to. We learn to be agreeable and go-along-to-get-along. We practice saying yes to things so we can avoid conflict. We…