We are socially programmed to want new/better/special things. We want to “keep up with the Jones’s”. We want everyone on social media to know how happy and fun and special our lives are.

But when you stop and ask yourself, do you really want these things? Why? What need is it fulfilling?

I remember when I was a kid I really wanted a BMW. That was my idea of having “made it”. I’d have a flashy, expensive car. Today, I would NEVER buy a luxury car. My idea of “making it” today is to have as few monthly payments as possible so I can live off of less and less and have the freedom and flexibility to do whatever I want.

For me personally, I don’t want a huge new house, I don’t enjoy flying first class, and I don’t care to have a fancy expensive car. But those are my choices. I do care to spend thousands of dollars on plants and landscaping. I do care to buy expensive gym equipment rather than a monthly gym membership. I did buy an expensive RV so I can bring my dog on trips rather than getting a pet-sitter. Those are my choices, but they are definitely outside the norm.

When I turned 30 I had a huge identity crisis because I had not hit any of the benchmarks I expected to – I didn’t own a home, I didn’t have a relationship or children, my career hadn’t really taken off – all the things we’re “supposed” to do in adulthood. I spent my birthday reflecting on that and realized none of those things were things I really cared about. I cared about the quality of my day to day life. I focused my money and priorities on the things I felt enriched me and stopped comparing myself to my classmates and coworkers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still constantly looking around at the homes, trips, cars, etc. that my friends are finding in their own lives. But we’re walking different paths with different priorities. I want to be able to travel, I want to dig in the dirt in my yard, I want to have a car I can get dirty at a trailhead and not worry about.

Stop assuming the priorities that society has put on you and figure out what matters to you. Focus your money and your time on achieving those things that are enriching your own life. Don’t let your ego tell you what you should be doing just because you want to show everyone else how well you’re doing.

They’ll see how well you’re doing at prioritizing yourself. That’s a huge win.