Handling The Hard Stuff

Tag: Self-Improvement

  • Vulnerability Doesn’t Make You Weak

    I was watching the Oscars this weekend and was struck by Ryan Gosling’s performance of “I’m Just Ken”. I had forgotten the lyrics of the song and how focused it is on how Ken has feelings too. It’s such a trope in our society that we can’t have big feelings. We can’t talk about them,…

  • Pivoting

    Even the best laid plans can fall apart. No matter how thorough and well-researched you are in your planning, there are factors outside your control and sometimes those factors destroy your plans. Learning how to switch gears and figure out next steps from there can be the difference between success and failure in the long…

  • No is a Complete Sentence

    No. Just no. Not “no because…”. Just no. Women especially have a hard time just being firm in their refusal. We feel, either by nature or nurture I’ve never been able to tell, that we owe people an explanation. We do not. When I was a kid I went through a “why” phase, as I’m…

  • Enjoy the Sunshine

    I find it hard to be optimistic sometimes. The world is filled with terrible things, terrible news, terrible futures, terrible pasts, all the terrible all the time. But the world is filled with plenty of wonderful too. It is just as likely that good things will happen as bad things will happen. So why we…

  • Courage

    I don’t consider myself particularly brave. Even if I do something outside my comfort zone, I do it in the most measured, non-terrifying way possible. Like this blog – I don’t have my real name or picture associated with it. That’s too big of a risk for right now. I’m feeling particularly terrified at the…

  • What Would It Look Like If It Was Easy?

    Sometimes we mistake effort for value. We seek out the paths of most resistance. We justify that the things worth doing are things you have to work for. The harder you work, the bigger the payoff. And in a lot of circumstances, that’s true. However, there are plenty of circumstances that are more like putting…

  • You Can’t Think Your Way to Perfection

    We are overthinkers. We are planners. We anticipate problems and solve them before they happen. But there’s a limit. My dad likes to reference “the paralysis of analysis”. We overthink and plan and anticipate problems so much that we talk ourselves out of every move. At some point, we just have to risk it. We…

  • Silence Speaks Volumes

    You don’t have to buy in to every fight. You don’t have to correct every person you disagree with. You don’t have to educate everyone that you see is wrong. You can just NOT. You can just refuse to engage. You can just continue to disagree and not make it the central feature of your…

  • Don’t Stare at Closed Doors

    When a door closes in life, let it close. Don’t slam it, don’t try to force it open, don’t belabor the door. Let it close. And go find an open door. We spend so much of our lives forcing relationships. Over the years I have had so many clients come to me wanting to fix…

  • Keep Your Word to Yourself

    Often as we go through life being busy adults with lots of responsibilities, we push ourselves further and further back on the priority list. Your kids and their activities take up your attention. Or your work requires a lot of focus. You spend your energy on your relationships and you have nothing left for legit…