Handling The Hard Stuff

Tag: Self-Care

  • Courage

    I don’t consider myself particularly brave. Even if I do something outside my comfort zone, I do it in the most measured, non-terrifying way possible. Like this blog – I don’t have my real name or picture associated with it. That’s too big of a risk for right now. I’m feeling particularly terrified at the…

  • What Would It Look Like If It Was Easy?

    Sometimes we mistake effort for value. We seek out the paths of most resistance. We justify that the things worth doing are things you have to work for. The harder you work, the bigger the payoff. And in a lot of circumstances, that’s true. However, there are plenty of circumstances that are more like putting…

  • You Can’t Think Your Way to Perfection

    We are overthinkers. We are planners. We anticipate problems and solve them before they happen. But there’s a limit. My dad likes to reference “the paralysis of analysis”. We overthink and plan and anticipate problems so much that we talk ourselves out of every move. At some point, we just have to risk it. We…

  • Are your Affairs in Order?

    **This is not legal advice. If you want legal advice consult an attorney that practices in your jurisdiction.** We see on television or in movies whenever there is a terminal diagnosis that people should “get their affairs in order”. But what does that mean? In the United States at least, it means be clear about…

  • Silence Speaks Volumes

    You don’t have to buy in to every fight. You don’t have to correct every person you disagree with. You don’t have to educate everyone that you see is wrong. You can just NOT. You can just refuse to engage. You can just continue to disagree and not make it the central feature of your…

  • Don’t Stare at Closed Doors

    When a door closes in life, let it close. Don’t slam it, don’t try to force it open, don’t belabor the door. Let it close. And go find an open door. We spend so much of our lives forcing relationships. Over the years I have had so many clients come to me wanting to fix…

  • Keep Your Word to Yourself

    Often as we go through life being busy adults with lots of responsibilities, we push ourselves further and further back on the priority list. Your kids and their activities take up your attention. Or your work requires a lot of focus. You spend your energy on your relationships and you have nothing left for legit…

  • There is No Normal

    One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is “next week things will go back to normal.” What is normal? It seems like literally every day there is something that’s requiring our immediate attention or pulling us out of our default position. Things never get back to normal. Things evolve. We’ve recently started calling changes…

  • You are Doing Better than You Think

    We are terrible at reasonable self-analysis. Invariably we are our own worst critics. We second-guess every choice we’ve made and consider whether things would be better if we’d done things differently. Stop. You are where you are and you’re doing better than you think you are. You are trying. You are changing. Those two things…

  • Trying Harder

    I have a lot of quit in me. I am really good at pushing myself a little but not a LOT. I have never gone “to failure”. I’ve never pushed myself so hard I literally can’t keep going. I’ve never tried to lift something so heavy I needed a spotter to help me finish. I’ll…