Handling The Hard Stuff

Tag: Relationships

  • Audit Your Circle

    There are a lot of studies that show that surrounding yourself with successful people improves the likelihood that you too will be successful. Define success however you want, but you are more likely to accomplish your goals if you surround yourself with people who are similarly driven and have similar goals. The opposite is true…

  • Where’s Your Money?

    I recently read an article that says 56% of women married to men leave the financial planning and investment decisions to their husbands. The same article shared the statistic that 80% of women lose their spouse to death or divorce. Regardless of gender, in a lot of relationships there’s one person that “handles the finances”.…

  • Stop. Collaborate and Listen

    Have you heard of something called collaborative law? It’s the coolest thing in the divorce world since…I don’t know, there’s not a lot of cool stuff in divorce world. Collaborative law is essentially the idea that you are going to behave like reasonable adults and co-parents from the beginning of your divorce case. In a…

  • Anger is Hard

    It’s easy to get mad. But it is a response, not a cause. You aren’t just angry for the sake of it, you’re angry BECAUSE of something. Think of this when your partner is angry or lashing out. Why are they angry? What’s causing this? If you can manage to look at that piece rather…

  • Guilt

    I have so many people come in my office ready to file a divorce but feeling SOO guilty about being the one to end it. The reality is their partner ended it long ago. They stopped being a partner. We see this a lot in long-term marriages where the responsibilities devolve and fall heavily onto…

  • Who Do You Think You Are?

    Do you ever hear people describing you and completely disagree with their assessment? My dad will describe me to people using works like “brave” and “ambitious” and “confident”, and I have no idea who he’s talking about because it most definitely isn’t me. I think of myself as shy and socially awkward. I would call…

  • Ending a Fight

    I was just talking with someone about their divorce and they told me how they really just didn’t want to fight and wanted it to be over. But in the very next sentence they mentioned that they had gone to court to dispute a vehicle ownership and value and that they were disagreeing about whether…

  • It’s Ending – Now What?

    I met with a woman yesterday whose story is similar to genuinely half of my clients – she has been served with divorce papers and is an absolute wreck. So many people find themselves in this circumstance and just panic. People react in a few different, and problematic, ways: It is completely normal to feel…

  • I Love Boring

    I have never wanted to be special. I want to be average. I do not need to stand out in any way. Of course virtually nothing about me is average. But I have always been very comfortable being part of a system, just a cog in the wheel. The more we can systematize the more…

  • Everyday Excitement

    We spend so much of our lives living for this vacation or that holiday or that special event. But what about the boring days? In a year we maybe have 30 or so holiday or vacation or special event days. That means 11 months a year are the average everyday life days. I think rather…