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Just Start
It’s hard to do new things. As adults we’re supposed to be knowledgeable. That often translates to us avoiding things outside our comfort zone. Trying something new becomes harder and harder the more we stay in our comfort zone. I assume I am terrible at just about everything. I assume I am mildly capable at…
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Prepare for the Worst
I’m a big proponent of hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I like contingencies, but I also like safeguards. The basics to cover to be generally prepared for the worst things: (caveats – 1. this is probably only applicable in the US but I’ll try to be broad enough that it’s useful…
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Stop Beating Yourself Up
In the past few days especially I have had a number of friends and potential clients berate themselves for “putting up with so much” or something along those lines. They’ll talk about a million different ways their partners failed them and feel such shame for not kicking that person to the curb sooner. They look…
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Give Them an Out
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and you’re both so dug in to your positions that neither of you can move even a little bit without “giving in”? I have. I am stubborn as all hell. And I always have been. My parents talk about how conflicts with me were a negotiation…
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It All Draws from the Same Well
Have you ever had a day where you spent the whole day in a meeting sitting listening to people talk and you come home EXHAUSTED? You’ve been sitting all day long but you have zero energy left. Have you had a day where you are dealing with grief or trauma or helping someone else deal…
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It’s Not Your Responsibility to Make People Happy
Some of us are people pleasers. Some people grew up walking on egg shells because they didn’t live in a safe place. People are averse to conflict for a million reasons. Many of us have to learn how to navigate a new relationship with a new person. I remember in college my roommate would periodically…
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Micro-Joys
There is much studied and written about the positive mental and physical impacts that regular gratitude can have. I will be the first to acknowledge I am terrible at this. I can’t get myself to sit down and meditate. I am terrible at journaling. I just can’t manage to stop my world and take the…
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Quiet Love
We aren’t all overt in our affection. Many of us are uncomfortable expressing ourselves with words. We show our love in different ways. My dad says he doesn’t want gifts, but he’s the first one to play with the kids’ toys on Christmas morning. He doesn’t say “I love you”, but he makes sure my…
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Ask Yourself Why
Why do you do the things you do? Why do you work yourself to the bone or sneak midnight snacks or disappear into a book when you have chores to do? What’s the root cause? Because you can’t expect to change the things that are causing problems for you, if you don’t understand the why…
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Set Goals That Matter
Any one of us that has tried to better themselves or learn something has set some form of goal – whether formal or not. If you’re anything like me, you’ve broken your own goals plenty of times over. We aim high and then the process of getting from start to finish is too long and…
Handling The Hard Stuff 