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Be Curious
You don’t stumble on passion. It’s not like a meet-cute and you just pick up a paintbrush and poof you’re a painter. You have to try things. You have to expand your horizons. You have to learn what you like and don’t like. Trying things as an adult is haaaard. A lot of us decided…
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Making
I find it frustrating sometimes that I don’t have anything tangible to show for my work. I help people sort out problems, but I’m not building anything or making a mark on the world in a physical way and it’s hard to mark your success and contribution when it’s not visible. I have recently become…
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Neutral
There are a lot of things we deal with that we consider bad or good, that really aren’t inherently anything. They’re neutral until we give them meaning or a response. For instance, Change is neutral. Some people love change and some people cringe away from it. But change in itself isn’t good or bad. It…
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Find the Fun
Adulting isn’t a lot of fun. There’s a lot of responsibility and pressure and mundanity. It doesn’t always have to be this way though. We can balance the boring with the fun. If you’re anything like me, you’ve lost your sparkle at times as you go through the responsible and adult activities of day to…
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Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First
So often we find ourselves working so hard to help others and solve problems that aren’t our own when we aren’t actually able to help ourselves. I have so many clients that report to me how they are providing homes for their adult children while being unable to pay the mortgage on their own. I…
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Respect is Earned
So many times I see and hear people demanding respect based on their position or circumstance. I reject that entirely. I have seen judges be petty and gossip. I have seen teenagers carry a family on their shoulders with responsibility. The idea that certain people in certain positions can behave rudely or cruelly and they…
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Test your Mettle
I like my comfort zone. Even when I’m challenging myself, I’m very careful and have a strong sense of self-preservation. I’m not the one you’ll see finishing a race barely able to stand up. I’ll walk way before that. I’m not someone who applies for jobs I only have some of the requirements for. It…
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You Can’t Control Their Narrative
Someone mentioned the other day that you can’t control how others see you and somehow that was just mind-blowing to me. I tell my clients this all the time (and wrote about it in an earlier post) – you have to be prepared to be the villain in your former partner’s story. But somehow this…
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Is it Worth Forcing it?
I can think of a bunch of times in life when I hit a wall or barrier that made me stop and think about my path. Almost fifteen years ago this week I failed the bar exam. It was my worst nightmare come true. All the time and money I’d spent, the public nature of…
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Live Softly
I read somewhere the other day about a “softgirl” life. The theory is basically to not give anything “your all” because you won’t have anything left over for the rest. The prize for winning a pie eating contest is more pie. I spoke with a woman this morning who is close to retirement age. Her…
Handling The Hard Stuff 