-
Rest Does Not Mean Sleep
We need rest. Duh. Rest is more than just sleep. Your body needs to rest in many different ways. Prioritizing rest will improve your overall well-being. Be mindful of the ways you deplete your energy. Don’t give it away unintentionally. Protect yourself and your peace. Let yourself rest.
-
Stop. Collaborate and Listen
Have you heard of something called collaborative law? It’s the coolest thing in the divorce world since…I don’t know, there’s not a lot of cool stuff in divorce world. Collaborative law is essentially the idea that you are going to behave like reasonable adults and co-parents from the beginning of your divorce case. In a…
-
Retail Therapy
We’ve come up with a lot of coping mechanisms as a society. I read an article today about how something like 60% of spending is to cope with things like anxiety, depression, and boredom. I was just talking with a friend who chuckled telling me about a three-hour rant-filled phone call with a client wherein…
-
Anger is Hard
It’s easy to get mad. But it is a response, not a cause. You aren’t just angry for the sake of it, you’re angry BECAUSE of something. Think of this when your partner is angry or lashing out. Why are they angry? What’s causing this? If you can manage to look at that piece rather…
-
Guilt
I have so many people come in my office ready to file a divorce but feeling SOO guilty about being the one to end it. The reality is their partner ended it long ago. They stopped being a partner. We see this a lot in long-term marriages where the responsibilities devolve and fall heavily onto…
-
Who Do You Think You Are?
Do you ever hear people describing you and completely disagree with their assessment? My dad will describe me to people using works like “brave” and “ambitious” and “confident”, and I have no idea who he’s talking about because it most definitely isn’t me. I think of myself as shy and socially awkward. I would call…
-
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
If you’re going through hard times you may not be feeling the strongest or proudest or most confident you ever have. That’s okay. We all have seasons of life and we can’t be at our best at all moments. Don’t expect that you’re at your best all the time. We’re human. We have ups and…
-
Celebrate the Small Moments
When you’re dealing with hard things, everything feels hard and sad and frustrating and exhausting. But sometimes you can find good small moments in a day full of awful. A friend was recently discussing dealing with the suicide of a long time friend of hers. She felt guilty for laughing at a meme online that…
-
(Re)Building Confidence
Sometimes things happen in life that shake us to our core. Other times it’s not any particular incident, but the erosion over time when daily challenges get in the way of our self-care. We find ourselves older and less confident or capable than we’ve ever felt. Often during or after a divorce my clients are…
-
Ending a Fight
I was just talking with someone about their divorce and they told me how they really just didn’t want to fight and wanted it to be over. But in the very next sentence they mentioned that they had gone to court to dispute a vehicle ownership and value and that they were disagreeing about whether…
Handling The Hard Stuff 