Handling The Hard Stuff

Category: Self-Care

  • Don’t Mistake Peace for Boring

    Let’s be honest, we love the drama. We listen to all the true crime podcasts and audiobooks, we make celebrities out of housewives and Jersey Shorers who spend all their time gossiping and fighting among one another. Every other show on television is about emergency services or surgeons or crime investigations. We thrive on trauma.…

  • Don’t Require an Apology

    In so many of my divorce cases, my client will spend so much time and energy being angry at the way their soon-to-be ex has treated them. That anger often dissipates after the first month or so – people learn to cope with their new life, they figure out what it’s going to look like…

  • You Don’t Have to Be Whole to Shine

    Even at funerals people smile and laugh. In the throes of the worst divorce cases, I’ve watched clients find moments of happiness. It is ok – and incredibly important – to find good moments even in the midst of awfulness. The longer we live life, the more likely we are to have dents and scars…

  • Loneliness

    It’s the time of year when the weather makes a lot of us unmotivated to do anything other than hunker down at home. We also don’t see the sun and don’t have a lot of daylight to look forward to and it’s when we’re more likely to feel deep loneliness and isolation. It’s hard to…

  • Mental Energy

    I came across the phrase “Our brain serves back our most practiced thoughts” and it just struck me. We hear so often that practicing gratitude can help with mental health overall. I have a hard time with that. It gets a bit too touchy-feely for me. However, if I analyze where my mental energy goes,…

  • Everyday Isn’t a Thrive Day

    We all have good days and bad. Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes we are thriving – all the pieces fall into place and we get things done and feel good about ourselves and our contributions in the world. And some days we’re just holding on for dear life trying to make it through…

  • Financial Hierarchy

    Money can be a lot of things. It can be scary or confusing, it can be freeing or limiting. It can create stability and confidence. It can generate feelings of guilt or greed or shame or envy. For me, money is a path to freedom of time. Budgets and debts and monthly payments take up…

  • Set Appropriate Goals

    We are all so tempted to dream big in the new year. We make vision boards and set big, bold, ambitious goals for things we wish to do or accomplish in the next 365 days. I am not a New Year Resolution person. I sometimes come up with a theme or a guiding approach I…

  • Respect the Stress

    The end of year holidays are joyous and wonderful and exhausting as all get out. We have more gatherings, more travel, more expenses, less structure, less healthy food and activities, and lots more peopling. It’s delightful and also hugely stressful. For some it’s just plain stressful. Maybe you’re dealing with in-laws that create constant tension…

  • Forgive Yourself

    So much of what we do when we are young follows us into adulthood. Decisions we make about schooling, working, relationships, and how we solve problems as young adults has ripple effects that we end of dealing with for the rest of our lives. As an older adult the consequences of your young-self’s decisions can…