Handling The Hard Stuff

Category: Self-Care

  • Guilt

    I have so many people come in my office ready to file a divorce but feeling SOO guilty about being the one to end it. The reality is their partner ended it long ago. They stopped being a partner. We see this a lot in long-term marriages where the responsibilities devolve and fall heavily onto…

  • Fake It ‘Til You Make It

    If you’re going through hard times you may not be feeling the strongest or proudest or most confident you ever have. That’s okay. We all have seasons of life and we can’t be at our best at all moments. Don’t expect that you’re at your best all the time. We’re human. We have ups and…

  • Celebrate the Small Moments

    When you’re dealing with hard things, everything feels hard and sad and frustrating and exhausting. But sometimes you can find good small moments in a day full of awful. A friend was recently discussing dealing with the suicide of a long time friend of hers. She felt guilty for laughing at a meme online that…

  • (Re)Building Confidence

    Sometimes things happen in life that shake us to our core. Other times it’s not any particular incident, but the erosion over time when daily challenges get in the way of our self-care. We find ourselves older and less confident or capable than we’ve ever felt. Often during or after a divorce my clients are…

  • I Love Boring

    I have never wanted to be special. I want to be average. I do not need to stand out in any way. Of course virtually nothing about me is average. But I have always been very comfortable being part of a system, just a cog in the wheel. The more we can systematize the more…

  • Everyday Excitement

    We spend so much of our lives living for this vacation or that holiday or that special event. But what about the boring days? In a year we maybe have 30 or so holiday or vacation or special event days. That means 11 months a year are the average everyday life days. I think rather…

  • Handling the Hardest

    What do we do when the world gets too hard? How do we deal when every headline is devastating news and we feel powerless? I am constantly torn between needing to do something and needing to bury my head in the sand. We can do both, but it must be with intention. You must take…

  • Burnout

    If you’re like me or literally every one of my peers, you are experiencing or are teetering on the brink of burnout. We’ve been in the workforce for a decade or two now, we’ve started (and sometimes ended) relationships, we’re parenting, we’re becoming managers, we’re buying houses, we’re paying bills. We aren’t taking care of…

  • Judgment Free Zone

    Think back through all the times you have passed judgment on yourself. All the times you’ve said something cringy or put on a piece of clothing and poked at bulges or gaps. Think about all the times you have done worse at something than you expected, disappointed yourself, been embarrassed, been ashamed. And then erase…

  • Do you Give your Time to the Things that Matter Most?

    In financial discussions, we talk about values-based budgets – you spend your money on the things you care about the most whether it’s travel or nice clothes or fancy restaurants. But we know that we have a limited amount of money to spend so we prioritize. Do you prioritize with your time? The concept is…