Handling The Hard Stuff

Category: Future

  • Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First

    So often we find ourselves working so hard to help others and solve problems that aren’t our own when we aren’t actually able to help ourselves. I have so many clients that report to me how they are providing homes for their adult children while being unable to pay the mortgage on their own. I…

  • Respect is Earned

    So many times I see and hear people demanding respect based on their position or circumstance. I reject that entirely. I have seen judges be petty and gossip. I have seen teenagers carry a family on their shoulders with responsibility. The idea that certain people in certain positions can behave rudely or cruelly and they…

  • Test your Mettle

    I like my comfort zone. Even when I’m challenging myself, I’m very careful and have a strong sense of self-preservation. I’m not the one you’ll see finishing a race barely able to stand up. I’ll walk way before that. I’m not someone who applies for jobs I only have some of the requirements for. It…

  • You Can’t Control Their Narrative

    Someone mentioned the other day that you can’t control how others see you and somehow that was just mind-blowing to me. I tell my clients this all the time (and wrote about it in an earlier post) – you have to be prepared to be the villain in your former partner’s story. But somehow this…

  • Is it Worth Forcing it?

    I can think of a bunch of times in life when I hit a wall or barrier that made me stop and think about my path. Almost fifteen years ago this week I failed the bar exam. It was my worst nightmare come true. All the time and money I’d spent, the public nature of…

  • Live Softly

    I read somewhere the other day about a “softgirl” life. The theory is basically to not give anything “your all” because you won’t have anything left over for the rest. The prize for winning a pie eating contest is more pie. I spoke with a woman this morning who is close to retirement age. Her…

  • Just Start

    It’s hard to do new things. As adults we’re supposed to be knowledgeable. That often translates to us avoiding things outside our comfort zone. Trying something new becomes harder and harder the more we stay in our comfort zone. I assume I am terrible at just about everything. I assume I am mildly capable at…

  • Prepare for the Worst

    I’m a big proponent of hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I like contingencies, but I also like safeguards. The basics to cover to be generally prepared for the worst things: (caveats – 1. this is probably only applicable in the US but I’ll try to be broad enough that it’s useful…

  • Micro-Joys

    There is much studied and written about the positive mental and physical impacts that regular gratitude can have. I will be the first to acknowledge I am terrible at this. I can’t get myself to sit down and meditate. I am terrible at journaling. I just can’t manage to stop my world and take the…

  • Set Goals That Matter

    Any one of us that has tried to better themselves or learn something has set some form of goal – whether formal or not. If you’re anything like me, you’ve broken your own goals plenty of times over. We aim high and then the process of getting from start to finish is too long and…