Handling The Hard Stuff

Category: Divorce

  • Celebrate the Small Moments

    When you’re dealing with hard things, everything feels hard and sad and frustrating and exhausting. But sometimes you can find good small moments in a day full of awful. A friend was recently discussing dealing with the suicide of a long time friend of hers. She felt guilty for laughing at a meme online that…

  • (Re)Building Confidence

    Sometimes things happen in life that shake us to our core. Other times it’s not any particular incident, but the erosion over time when daily challenges get in the way of our self-care. We find ourselves older and less confident or capable than we’ve ever felt. Often during or after a divorce my clients are…

  • Ending a Fight

    I was just talking with someone about their divorce and they told me how they really just didn’t want to fight and wanted it to be over. But in the very next sentence they mentioned that they had gone to court to dispute a vehicle ownership and value and that they were disagreeing about whether…

  • It’s Ending – Now What?

    I met with a woman yesterday whose story is similar to genuinely half of my clients – she has been served with divorce papers and is an absolute wreck. So many people find themselves in this circumstance and just panic. People react in a few different, and problematic, ways: It is completely normal to feel…

  • Judgment Free Zone

    Think back through all the times you have passed judgment on yourself. All the times you’ve said something cringy or put on a piece of clothing and poked at bulges or gaps. Think about all the times you have done worse at something than you expected, disappointed yourself, been embarrassed, been ashamed. And then erase…

  • Perspective is Hard

    Do you ever find yourself in an argument and you just do not understand why the other person has taken the position they have? They’re just ignoring all the brilliant facts you are presenting, or they are being petty and personal, or they are just. so. angry.? Have you ever stopped and tried to figure…

  • Something is Better than Nothing

    Do you ever get caught up in the search for perfection? My dad calls it the paralysis of analysis. It is so easy to go down a rabbit hole and keep researching and stewing on a certain subject when really you just need to write the paper and turn it in. It is so easy…

  • Holla “We Want Prenups”

    This may be the only time in my life that I’ve agreed with Kanye West. On this ONE thing, he’s not wrong. I know prenups get a bad rep. It’s one step worse and more taboo than talking about money. But if you’re ready to marry someone, you should be able to talk about both…

  • Relationships Aren’t about Power and Control

    Trigger Warning: This post is about relationships and abuse and if you are particularly sensitive to those conversations this may not be for you right now. There are lots of different ways to talk about toxic relationships. That’s a large spectrum on which we see relationships with workload imbalances and relationships with physical beatings. Every…

  • Being the Villain

    Being the bad guy is hard for a lot of us. Strong boundaries and being “mean mommy” goes against the nature of a lot of people for a lot of reasons. For children of trauma, reducing conflict is a gut instinct. For people accustomed to excess, strict rules and processes may not come naturally. Those…