It’s the end of the school year where I am and I find myself looking around at the circumstances my friends and I find ourselves in. Some of us have kids graduating and are processing transitioning into the parents of adult children. Some of us have littles and are juggling trying to be present parents and also establish ourselves at work and remembering to make eye contact with our partners at least once a day. Some of us are trying to figure out where we are heading in our careers and relationships and what our future looks like.

The answer is – it’s different for everyone. My husband and I are solid DINKs. We spend our money on ourselves, our futures, and our animals. We are also the biggest suckers for every friends’ kids’ activity fundraiser. We build our future with the idea of early retirement and travel in mind.

My brother and sister-in-law are polar opposites. They are quintessential American suburbanites with kiddos in every activity under the sun and newer cars and fewer travel plans. They’re planning to work until standard retirement age, they contribute average amounts to retirement plans, and support their kids’ activities and education.

A good friend of mine could probably retire in about five years if she really wanted to. She is a hustler of the first order and works from the gym at 6:30 a.m. all through her in-office pilates workout while listening to witness testimony in the evening. She’s paid off student loans, bought multiple properties, and put a bunch of money into her brokerage account to build a strong retirement nest egg. But she would go absolutely nuts if she tried to retire in her forties. Instead, she lives a luxurious life now and buys cars and clothes that she admits are not financially responsible, but they make her happy and she can easily afford them.

What suits your life may not suit your friends and family. What meets your needs may not be what meets theirs. And what matters to you may not be what matters to them.

This is super important when finding a spouse or life partner. If you are a saver and they are a spender you may have a tough time. If you’re not talking about money and your financial future you are likely to have significant problems as you move into that future. I worry about our financial future all the time. My husband has much more of an “It’ll all work out” attitude. He is comfortable with working forever. I barely want to work tomorrow.

We have money conversations. We plan and we dream. And we figure out a plan that works for us both. We don’t have it all sorted out in intricate detail, but we have an idea of where we want to jointly go. It keeps us moving together. We’re open about the money stuff and we talk about what we’re spending and whether we’re sharing expenses fairly and what the next big thing is going to be.

As we get older and mature, relationships and friends we cherished may no long serve us. We may not be moving toward the same goals any longer. That’s okay, different people have different goals and different futures.

Make sure you’re moving toward a future that serves you and what matters to you. Regardless of the relationship or the duration, if people that matter to you don’t support you, reevaluate why they matter to you. Is it habit? Someone you’ve been friends with forever so it just seems like you always will be? Is it circumstance? A Long-time neighbor or classmate that you’re no longer with on a regular basis? A co-worker you used to have tons in common with but have grown away from as you’ve learned and accomplished more in your life?

You don’t owe your future to other people. You owe it to yourself to build what works for you and your life. And, while you may wish them well, you may not be able to keep everyone that’s mattered along the way.

Build a future for yourself. Even if it means letting go of people that have been part of your village in the past but don’t support your future. You get one life to live. It’s worth ensuring you’re not living one that doesn’t satisfy you just to satisfy others.