It’s really easy to focus on your failures. It’s easy for us to point out our flaws, our weaknesses, and where we have the most room for improvement. In the thick of stressful work and home circumstances, it’s so easy to get stuck in the negative thinking about how you aren’t making progress or don’t make a difference.

In those frustrating times, it is really important to reflect on your high points. Early on in my practice I started keeping a folder of all the nice things my clients or others said about me. I had one client get interviewed in the newspaper about a circumstance I helped him with and he gave me a positive shoutout – into the folder it went. I had another client send me a card thanking me for helping her get through her divorce with her mental health intact – 100% keeping that in the folder. Early on I remember having a really good win in court and posting it on Facebook just so I’d be reminded “on this day” every year to come that one day I was a good lawyer.

Over the years we accumulate good moments. Sometimes it’s just a nice text or a sticky note or a pat on the back for a job well done. But other times it’s a certificate or a diploma or a glowing job review or a thoughtful card from someone that matters. Keep those things at hand, even if it’s just in a file on your phone or computer. Some people make a “power wall” and put their certificates and diplomas in fancy frames and on display to remind themselves and others of their accomplishments. Others make a “pride shrine” that they pass by in their home or office regularly that shows their accomplishments and pictures and tangible reminders of positive moments in the hopes that it will trigger positive emotions. On the especially rough days where you feel like you can’t do anything right, it’s really really helpful to remember that at least in those isolated moments, you were great.

You may not feel like you make a difference all the time. You may not feel like you are making progress. You may feel like you are perpetually slogging through peanut butter trying to get ahead in your life. That may even be true. But you had at least some good moments that got you there. Whether that was a family member encouraging you to keep going, whether that was a teacher that saw your talent, whether that was a coach or boss that acknowledged your effort, whether it was just a friend or neighbor that said something nice and smiled. There have been good moments and the odds are there will be again.

If this moment isn’t a good one for you, reflect on the ones that were. Remember the times when things went right. Relax in the comfort that if you just keep slogging, things will go right again. Nothing is permanent – whether good or bad – but take comfort in that fact and remember the successes to keep you moving forward.