When a door closes in life, let it close. Don’t slam it, don’t try to force it open, don’t belabor the door. Let it close. And go find an open door.

We spend so much of our lives forcing relationships. Over the years I have had so many clients come to me wanting to fix or fight for a relationship when the other side is just done. Many people didn’t see it coming or don’t believe in divorce or want to keep trying for whatever reason. But the reality is, it takes two people to be in a relationship and it takes one person to end a relationship. If you are the only one who wants to stay in, it doesn’t stay a relationship. Don’t stare at that door. Don’t bang on it and try to reopen it. It is closed. Leave it closed and find an opening.

In some of my toughest cases – where a client just could not wrap their brain around the end of a long-term marriage or where they just had never thought past the end of the relationship and what life would look like on their own – it has always gotten better. A year later these clients are in new careers or new relationships or have the hindsight to see that they are much freer and happier than they were with a significant other that did not value them.

We all deserve to be appreciated and valued by the people we let in our lives. If the person that is supposed to love and appreciate you the most does not want to stay with you, let the door close and find a new path. Life is too short to be banging on closed doors. Accept that the door is closed and go look for an open door. You won’t find it if you’re stuck staring at the closed door. Look around. Find the opening. Find a way to move forward.

Your life doesn’t end just because a door closes. In my experience, that’s when it gets more interesting.