Often as we go through life being busy adults with lots of responsibilities, we push ourselves further and further back on the priority list. Your kids and their activities take up your attention. Or your work requires a lot of focus. You spend your energy on your relationships and you have nothing left for legit self-care.

Coincidentally this also tends to be when we “let ourselves go”. We wear the same clothes we’ve had for years because we can’t find the time or energy to shop. We gain weight because we don’t have the time or energy to make food at home. We skip working out because we’d have to wake up at 4 a.m. just to find the time and we can’t fathom giving up that precious sleep.

In the health and fitness world we hear a lot about “find your why”. I hate this phrase. It works for lots of people, if it works for you I’m glad you’ve found it. My “why” is always something dumb like “I want to”.

I’m stubborn as hell. When I say I’m going to do a thing, I will do it. Particularly if it is a challenging thing and I said it out loud so I’d be embarrassed to quit. That’s one way I ensure I won’t quit. Publicizing my challenge helps motivate me. But the reality is, it shouldn’t require public accountability. It’s a matter of prioritizing the things we want for ourselves.

I realized somewhere along the line that no one is going to force me to change or hold me accountable to eat better or exercise or rest or take better care of myself. No one is going to force me into that if I don’t want it for myself. If I say I want something, I have to be the one to find the resolve and make it happen.

The times when I have made a concerted effort for such a thing – done a prolonged training program for a particular race or a specific rebalancing diet for 30 days or whatever – the rest of my life has come together in a better structure as well. That structured disciplined routine has had ripple effects into the rest of my life that makes everything better.

But if I cheat? It’s the absolute opposite. Even if no one knows. Because at the end of the day I know I’m cheating myself. I know that I’m admitting failure to myself.

In the end, it all comes down to being accountable to ourselves for our decisions. No one is forcing us to do the work we do or eat the foods we eat or the exercise (or lack thereof) that we do. And if we decide to just quit, it harms no one but ourselves. Quitting on myself is about the worst feeling I’ve had. Quitting isn’t the same as failing. Quitting is giving up before we’ve even pushed ourselves.

Be accountable to yourself. Be true to yourself. Push yourself. It’s great to have friends and family that will be accountability buddies and partners, but at the end of the day it’s about you. It’s about what you are willing to do to be your best self. And it’s about being honest with yourself. Making excuses to yourself accomplishes nothing.

You know you can succeed. Try. Push. Try again. Do it for you.