We are terrible at reasonable self-analysis. Invariably we are our own worst critics. We second-guess every choice we’ve made and consider whether things would be better if we’d done things differently.

Stop. You are where you are and you’re doing better than you think you are. You are trying. You are changing. Those two things are HUGE.

If you’ve recently ended a relationship or been experiencing a period of unwanted singleness, today may be a rough day. Your inner voice may be a bully today. Argue with that voice.

I like to take milestone days like this and reflect back on the year. Where were you last year at this time? Were you happy and fulfilled? What’s changed? Why? If you were in a relationship last year and you were happy, was it genuine happiness or were you just not looking deeply? Did you put forth the effort to sustain that happiness?

The person you are next year on this day depends on all the things you do between now and then. It depends on the food you eat and the books you read – how are you nourishing and enriching yourself? It depends on the things and people you give your time to. If you are constantly fighting with people online and viewing attack news (on either side of the political spectrum) and inundating yourself with negative energy and people identifying all the problems in the world, your normal is going to be negative energy and complaints. If you surround yourself with people trying to learn and grow and celebrating small victories, you’ll be more prone to improvement and success.

The habits you build over the next year, will indicate who you are a year from today. The more you experience and question and learn and grow, the happier you will be with yourself and likely, any potential partner that comes along. The more you try things, the more you learn who you are. The happiest people are the ones who know themselves well and adapt their lives to fit.

You are doing better than you think you are. As long as you continue to grow and learn and build relationships with yourself and others, you are doing well. Keep going.