I have a lot of quit in me. I am really good at pushing myself a little but not a LOT. I have never gone “to failure”. I’ve never pushed myself so hard I literally can’t keep going. I’ve never tried to lift something so heavy I needed a spotter to help me finish. I’ll gently push my boundaries, but I’ve never tested the fences.

I’ve always been afraid to break. I’ll stretch, but never get close to breaking. It’s a self-preservation thing for my ego. If I’m bad at something, I always get to say I had more in the tank or I could have done XYZ different and it would have been better.

Decreasing our effort means we don’t have to actually confront our vulnerability in that moment. If I’m running, I can stop for a walk break. If I’m in school and don’t do all the reading or miss a few classes, then those are the reasons I did poorly on the test, not my own smartness.

We build in safe-guards as excuses for our failures. If we have concrete things we could have done better then we have a reason that we failed, rather than us being failures. We save ourselves from the shame or embarrassment or just plain vulnerability this way.

I’ve never managed maximum effort. I try a bit more. I push a bit more, but the reality is the fear of failure is an existential one. If I can’t pick myself back up then I have to be sure I can trust someone else to do it.

Genuine trying requires genuine trust. If I am going to push myself to the point where I can’t go any further, I have to know there is someone to protect me until I can.

Push yourself. Stretch yourself. But recognize that the only sure way to do that is to rely fully on someone else in that moment. Build your team. Find your coach. Be a partner. And push your limits.