Drawing boundaries does not mean you are picking a fight. It is not an adversarial thing. You are not doing this at someone, you are doing it for yourself.

Choosing to unfollow someone on social media does not mean you dislike them or don’t wish them well. It means that your mental health is negatively impacted by having their content in your daily orbit. Deciding to block someone’s number from contacting your phone doesn’t mean you hate them, it means you can’t allow that person access to your time or energy.

Boundaries are about self-protection. This is a matter of you taking control of your own life, it is not a reflection on the other person or your relationship with them even. You choosing to draw boundaries around particular people or particular conduct has very little to do with them and their lives.

At times in our lives we have less bandwidth to deal with particular sensitivities. We may be more fragile than normal, we may have a harder time dealing with particular people or personalities. We may just decide we’re less willing to indulge behavior we’ve always quietly objected to. Just deciding not to give that person or personality or relationship access to your life is absolutely acceptable. You are in charge of your own self-care. You get 100% control over your own well-being.

If you decide that you need to go no-contact with a friend or family member or any other relationship, that is your choice. You may get a lot of feedback that it is cruel, or that they are disappointed in you and your choices, or that they don’t understand why you are “being like this”. Their reaction to your boundary is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to protect yourself.

Drawing a boundary to protect your own well-being is not an act of hostility. Your decision to care for yourself is not meant as aggression against another person. And if they feel that it is, that is more a reflection of them than you. Most likely it confirms why you need to draw that line in the first place.

Stay strong. Care for yourself. And make it clear it’s not about them, it’s about you. You’re not picking a fight, you’re protecting your own well-being.