It’s the time of year when the weather makes a lot of us unmotivated to do anything other than hunker down at home. We also don’t see the sun and don’t have a lot of daylight to look forward to and it’s when we’re more likely to feel deep loneliness and isolation.

It’s hard to fight off “The SADs”, as we refer to Seasonal Affective Disorder in our house. And it’s hard to find ways to connect with people when we’re feeling isolated and alone. But it’s doable. Feelings of loneliness are significant indicators of overall poor mental and physical well-being.

So in this world of constant connectedness, how do we start feeling connected?

1. Instead of texting, call your friends or family members. Hearing the voices of people you care about brings you a bit closer together. Better yet, have a video chat. I know we all got burned out with this during the pandemic, but the reality is that getting to see the body language as well as the voice and tone of your conversation partner, leaves you feeling a stronger sense of connection than just a call or text alone.
2. Be a joiner. I know that’s hard for us introverts, but finding your hobby or new activity, can be an easy inroad into finding an anchor point in your community. Maybe you want to learn how to garden – go volunteer at your local parks and rec or public garden. Maybe you want to start running, most running groups have group runs (and walks) for every level.
3. Volunteer. Even if you don’t have a hobby to give you and inroad into “peopling”, volunteering for a charity that matters to you or does good in the world will help you feel a sense of connection to the work they’re doing. Volunteering for a local politician you admire or a cause you think would make your community better can be another way to really connect with your immediate surroundings. You may not be able to save the world, but you could work to improve your own community.
4. Professional networking. I have done so much of this. Half the time I show up to an event because a friend asked me to or I heard there was free pizza. But invariably people make small talk and you’ll find commonality.
5. Get a pet. It’s a lot harder to feel lonely when you have a creature depending on your for their overall survival. Also, walking a dog is a great way to start conversations with people.
6. Host gatherings. If you don’t want to go talk to strangers, host a game night or gathering of friends at your own place or a favored restaurant.

The bottom line is, putting yourself out in the world helps you feel connected to the world at large. Go walk through a neighborhood park and see kids playing. Join a gym and you start to see the same people there at around the same time as you. Volunteer at the food bank and get to know the people that are struggling around you.

We all want connection. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. It means you have to put in a bit more effort to avoid the loneliness. By and large, people are people. Most of us want to make positive connections with others. Most of us are happy to meet new people and share our stories. Most of us want to help others be and do better.

So fight off the SADs and find ways to connect with others while we wait for more daylight and the sunshine to return.