Trauma and loss and regret can be so all-consuming. Often times those uncontrollable feelings come up out of nowhere. You think you have a handle on your pain and emotions and all of a sudden you’re ugly crying in the middle of a store because you see a shirt that brings back a memory. You’re blindsided by the raw pain all over again.

Your pain and loss are a part of you. Just like the tone of your voice or the shape of your ears, these things may change slightly over the years, but they’re always you. Give them a place. Find a way to process them and cultivate them to live with you. There is no shame in feeling those feelings. No one has to approve of your pain for you to feel it. Acknowledge it in the room and find ways to express it. Let it live in your life but not in your body. Let it live in art or music or your writing or cooking or creating. Let it live, but not in you.

“Your body is not a coffin for pain to be buried in. Let it live somewhere else. ” – Ehime Ora

Let it out. Get it out. But keep it close. You can manage how you express it so that it doesn’t blind side you as much. Make your pain a living, breathing, part of you rather than a weakness or source of shame. Find ways to live along side it rather than to be overcome by it seemingly at random.