Everything in life has a season. We are inundated with social media posts giving us the impression that everyone is living their best lives all the time forever. In reality, we’re all just trying to keep it all together. There is something to be said for temporary “settling” – a placeholder while you focus on other priorities or aspects of life.

A placeholder job can be one that isn’t particularly filling, but also isn’t particularly challenging. This may be exactly what you and your family/circumstance need in that moment. Maybe it’s boring but it’s a remote job so you can go explore the world. It could be one that is unsatisfying for other reasons but provides great benefits for your family’s security. Maybe it’s just a job that doesn’t exhaust you or require a ton of your energy so you have the brainpower left to work on your true passion project when you’re done with your day. A placeholder job can be temporary. It doesn’t define you or your future plans, but it helps you keep the important things going while you build your perfect future.

Some people have placeholder relationships. I’ve never really wanted this, but quite a few of my friends have spent years with “Mr/Ms Right Now” to have a designated date to go do the fun things with. There is something to be said for that. Theoretically only one or two relationships will be “the one” for you. Most will be simply a one. A placeholder relationship – as long as everyone is clear what the future does and does not hold – can make life richer and fuller for many people.

There are placeholder friendships. I tend to think of these as circumstantial friendship. These are people you enjoy working or going to school with but once you’re done with school or your jobs change you tend to lose touch with. These people are good and true friends and you help each other through particular experiences that no one else may fully understand. But your friendship is reliant on a particular circumstance and when that circumstance changes your friendship does too.

There is a lot of seeming perfection thrown at us all the time. It seems like every other adult has everything together and is never stressed out about it either. This is wholly untrue on a million different levels, but the idea here is you don’t have to be putting all your attention into all aspects of your life all the time. This is a “pick your battles” scenario where you can have your placeholder, unchallenging job while you’re trying to be an involved and attentive parent. You can enjoy your placeholder or rebound relationship when you’re working through some things for yourself and know you aren’t interested in the perfect relationship.

The important things happen in the right place at the right time. But sometimes there are in-between things that help us gently move toward the right place and right time. Those placeholder things hold a lot of value in the evolution of our lives. If you are in a placeholder circumstance don’t panic and feel compelled to change. Think about what it’s doing for you. Think about what other resources in your life it is freeing up and then go do something fun or interesting with those free resources. Even if it’s just a nap. Coasting a little in life so you can recharge and figure out your next move is definitely a valuable experience.