I like my comfort zone. Even when I’m challenging myself, I’m very careful and have a strong sense of self-preservation. I’m not the one you’ll see finishing a race barely able to stand up. I’ll walk way before that. I’m not someone who applies for jobs I only have some of the requirements for. It goes against my nature to set goals that aren’t safe.

But those few times I have have been lifechanging. When I applied for law school I was very uncertain I’d get in anywhere. My undergraduate grades were not impressive – that one year on the engineering track destroyed my GPA. I didn’t have much that was impressive, honestly. Other than my stubbornness maybe. That seems to have helped me overcome all the rational reasons why I shouldn’t do something I’m afraid of failing at.

I applied. I applied to three places to hedge my bets. And the weeks waiting for answers were the most anxious I think I’ve ever been. I had never tried something I wasn’t sure I could do. I had never set a goal when I wasn’t sure I’d succeed. Can I just tell you how sweet the feeling of success and accomplishment when I received those letters of acceptance? I literally had to verify that they had my identity right because my name is common enough I was sure they had the wrong person.

I learned that trying things you aren’t confident about creates such a rich reward. There are two ways to look at it – you’re supposed to fail anyway because it’s a big reach. If you actually do fail, it’s not a big deal because you were stretching too far anyway. No worries, you’ll regroup and try again in a different way. OR you hope and it actually does work out it’s that much bigger of a deal because you weren’t supposed be successful. Either way you only stand to gain. You lose nothing by trying.

I have spent most of my life afraid of failure and the shame and embarrassment that comes with it. But I have failed at the most important goal I’d set for myself and in the most public ways and at the end of the day it hasn’t prevented any amount of success.

Someone once told me if I’m feeling disappointed or worried about my circumstances to just zoom out. I think this is a very valuable perspective shift. All the things that seemed so big and insurmountable and absolutely devastating in the moment, have turned into little more than mild speed bumps in the course of my life.

Carry on. Zoom out. Nothing matters as much as you think in the moment. So challenge yourself, risk some shame and embarrassment because the growth and success and pride that comes with success lasts far longer and provides far more future impact than the potential failure will. Recovery and resiliency is an important part of growth. Test yourself and grow.