Have you ever had a day where you spent the whole day in a meeting sitting listening to people talk and you come home EXHAUSTED? You’ve been sitting all day long but you have zero energy left.

Have you had a day where you are dealing with grief or trauma or helping someone else deal with theirs? That emotion just drains you completely even though you haven’t necessarily done much physically.

That’s because we all have one well. We have one battery to use for physical activity, emotional well-being, and mental focus. Draining one makes any of the others tougher to perform.

Have you ever heard of an emotional hangover? Have you ever experienced it? I sure have. When you’ve had a hard, sad day, the next day isn’t magically sunshine and roses. I can’t lose a case that mattered and then pop up the next morning and go for a run that feels amazing and strong. When things matter, it takes a toll. When your body has to put forth effort – of whatever kind – it needs to recover.

Athletes incorporate rest days into their weekly training schedules. After a major effort, they’ll incorporate full rest weeks and then slowly ease back into work. We should be doing the same things for our hearts and minds. When you’ve experienced grief or heartache, you can’t just bounce back immediately and expect to be at peak performance. You have to rest. And then gently delve back in.

You only have so much to give. And if your burn yourself out in one area, it all suffers. During finals week in law school, I fell down the stairs all the time. My brain was so focused on memorizing case law and everything we’d learned for the last three months, that I couldn’t be bothered to remember basic motor function. Similarly, after I finished a marathon, I couldn’t remember the words for things. I’d put all my bandwidth into surviving to cross the finish line. I didn’t have the energy for things like words. Because it all comes from the same well.

Keep a reserve. Don’t expect magic. Prepare for the mental, physical, or emotional hangover and be gentle with yourself.