We are not meant to be achieving at the same level forever. So many parts of nature have seasons of productivity and seasons of dormancy, why wouldn’t we be meant for the same?

I am my own worst critic when it comes to my productivity. I must be doing something, making something, contributing something, achieving something, at virtually all times. It’s exhausting. This kind of mentality is draining.

This constant going takes so much joy out of life. It limits meaningful moments in relationships, it inhibits resiliency, and can even get to the point where it can impact health and physical ability. When you wear yourself down without giving sufficient opportunity for rebuilding, you are actually eroding your overall well-being.

Some high-achieving friends and I were recently on a girls trip and found ourselves discussing this. We had all managed to find ourselves with partners who are successful, but with a much more laid-back personality than most of us. We all chuckled at how our husbands/boyfriends were constantly just wanting us to stop and give them a hug. We laughed for a little, and I think we all also realized what a sad commentary that is. We have these wonderful people in our lives who just want a moment of closeness and we find that a nuisance or annoying because we have things to do.

We shouldn’t be doing things all the time. We should have productive seasons and reflective/restorative seasons.

This year for me has been an intentional reflective season for me. I got so burned out with my work during COVID – because I was still going into crowded courtrooms and institutions with active outbreaks – and took on such a high caseload because they didn’t have enough lawyers to go around, that I just wore myself down. I cried frequently, I couldn’t sleep unless I ran every day, I resented every client in my filing cabinet. There wasn’t anything fun about what I was doing and I could not remember why I was doing it in the first place. So I intentionally cut back. I talked to a lot of my colleagues about it and it turns out I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

Almost exactly a year from when I made this conscious choice, I am a much more balanced person. I took time for my mental and physical health, I took time to dedicate to my relationship, I took time working from home in a peaceful setting I created for myself. And I spent that time reflecting on what I like about my job and the things I want to do more of. Turns out I didn’t like being in court as much as I thought. I like the people side of the work, not the competition side of the work.

In my reflective and restorative year, I’ve gotten a better sense of how I can pivot my work into something that may be more satisfying. And I have built myself back up to a point where I now can go more fully back into the fray without eroding myself in the process.

We have these phases, cycles, seasons, whatever you want to call them. We can’t spend forever with more energy out than we put in. And it is ok! It is completely acceptable to not move up or not progress or not aim higher. It is ok to take some time to gather yourself before you make your next move. It is completely ok to just stay where you are and focus on other things for awhile.

Work to ignore the pressures from the outside world and society and the intensity everywhere. You can just be content. Being content is a perfectly acceptable achievement. Being content is the dream for a lot of us. Just be in the moment and be happy.

Practice happiness. It’s a magical thing. And one of the ways to achieve that is to ignore the guilt or the shame of not doing more. Just say no. Be “selfish” and don’t sign up for that committee or join your weekly running club or sign your kids up for three different activities a week.

Forcing yourself to come up for air and step back from the ledge is necessary sometimes. You can regroup and get back in the fray, but give yourself a minute to breathe and decompress and make sure you’re headed in the direction you really truly want.