There are a lot of studies that show that surrounding yourself with successful people improves the likelihood that you too will be successful. Define success however you want, but you are more likely to accomplish your goals if you surround yourself with people who are similarly driven and have similar goals. The opposite is true too, so pay attention.

My favorite way to improve circumstances like this is through mentorship. I love being a mentor. I never feel as successful or knowledgeable in my own journey as when I’m helping someone who is earlier on in theirs. Helping answer questions that I have asked others more experienced than I am is a super satisfying and affirming experience.

I also love having a mentor. Whether it’s a friend who is more successful in their business than I am, whether it’s an older attorney who has seen and dealt with all the things I’m dealing with, whether it’s a Facebook group answering group-think questions; having a resource to reach out to when you have questions and need guidance is one of the most valuable things in the world. Coaches need coaches, therapists have therapists, giving and receiving guidance is beneficial all around.

The reality is, we’re all on a different page of our story. I look around and see others who are just killing it. I want to be that person when I grow up. And while I’m busy envying person X, someone else is looking at me as their person X. Anytime you see someone who just seems like they have it all together, keep in mind that you may be that person for someone else. We’re all on a different journey and moving at different paces. Progress is progress and if you’re not surrounding yourself with people support your progress, it’s time to audit your circle. Find your cheerleaders and keep them around. The rest doesn’t matter.

As you grow and prioritize, you may outgrow people and relationships. That’s ok. You got each other through something, you supported each other when you needed it, and now your growth and support is taking you in different directions. Most friendships and relationships in life are situational friendships. You work together, you go to school together, your kids are on the same soccer team, you live next door to each other. If any of those circumstances change, your relationship will as well. And it may just drift away. That is normal and acceptable prioritization. You think good things about one another and wish for the best, but your lives are taking you in different directions.

If your support system doesn’t fit the life you want, audit your circle until it does. Foster the relationships that will help you improve in the places you want to improve. Do not give all of yourself to relationships that do not help you grow or that hold you back into who you used to be. Relationships that take more from you than they give back to you are no kind of relationship to keep. If you are being held back by these influences and you are keeping them in your life, you are choosing this life. You are not being held back by anyone but yourself if you keep giving these people and these influences access to you.

If your circle doesn’t fit the life you want, find a circle that does. You can reinvent yourself every day until you find who you want to be. You’re not getting graded at life. Success and satisfaction comes at different stages for us all. Keep trying things on until you find your thing.

And surround yourself with people that support you finding your thing. Keep people around that will help you learn and grow and explore different things. Let in the influences that will push you beyond your comfort zone in constructive and beneficial ways and support your learning process. And if you can’t find those people yet, be that person for yourself and others and you will attract other supportive and beneficial people to you.

Support and be supportive. To yourself and others.