I’ve written about consistency before. It’s crucial. It’s important. And sometimes it’s hard as hell.

Consistency without the results you want is just about the most frustrating thing ever. When you work and you struggle and you are consistent and you don’t see the payoff you’re looking for, the devastation is tougher than usual. You followed the instructions, why didn’t the cake turn out?!

I ran a marathon last weekend. It went terribly. I’d been following a training plan and running consistently according to my training plan since November. I went from hoping for a PR to just forcing myself to gut it out to the end. That experience was one of the toughest mental challenges I’ve had. Physically it hurt like hell, but the mental component to keep myself moving forward and not just giving up or even just walking the rest of the thing was the biggest challenge.

We all have those things right? We’ve worked for this, we studied for this final exam, we practiced that speech, we trained for this day, and it just doesn’t go according to plan. The grit and the toughness it takes to keep going and try again are some of the most important skills you can develop in life.

Tenacity is hard to build. But in those moments, think about what you’re doing there in the first place. It’s so easy to lose sight of the big picture in the moment of frustration, but make a conscious effort to think about why you started this in the first place.

1. What’s your “why”? Why does what you’re doing matter in the first place. What’s your motivation? Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to build a skill or certification? What brought you to this moment? If you can identify and remember that, it’s more likely to bring you past this particular hard moment.
2. How far have you come? Reflecting back on all the work you put in to get to this point can be a big motivator. On marathon day, I’d been training for five months. I’d put in boatloads of miles and cross training sessions. I was stronger than I’ve been in ages. Those are all huge successes that last beyond the finish line. This is true for any class or skill or training you’re a part of. It takes consistent effort. That consistent and sustained effort doesn’t just disappear because you had a bad day.
3. Trust the process. Not seeing results on the scale when you’re trying to lose weight doesn’t mean that you are failing. It means your successes are coming elsewhere. Not improving your speed when you’re training for a race doesn’t mean you’re not improving, it means that your increased fitness is still catching up with your speed. There are a lot of different ways to measure success and rarely is success a linear metric. Dial in the process and then keep it going for a sustained period before you expect a magic outcome.

At the end of the day intentional choices to keep showing up are the true measure of success. Set a goal, break up the goal into smaller bites, take one bite at a time. It’s not according to anyone else’s timeline or pace or ability. Your success comes from your consistent and sustained effort. Gut it out and keep going.