In financial discussions, we talk about values-based budgets – you spend your money on the things you care about the most whether it’s travel or nice clothes or fancy restaurants. But we know that we have a limited amount of money to spend so we prioritize.

Do you prioritize with your time? The concept is the same – we have a limited number of minutes to spend on any one thing. Do you spend your minutes in accordance with your values? I often find myself giving my time to mentoring circumstances. I love that. I love teaching other people how to feel more confident about what they’re doing. I’ve realized I don’t love one-on-one with clients nearly as much. Over the years I have transitioned so that my assistant is much more hands-on with clients in their daily questions and interaction and I am one level removed.

I found that when I was giving my time to things I didn’t love or didn’t value, I resented the entire thing and the time I was giving wasn’t quality or even positive time. It is easy to say yes to commitments – boards of directors, coaching your kids’ teams, babysitting, book clubs, whatever. There will always be more asked of you than you have to give. Making sure that you are doing things because you truly care about them rather than because someone asked and you felt bad saying no is a really important piece of self-care and development. You can’t be all things to all people. So prioritize where you spend your time.

I stopped volunteering to teach a weekly class because I was easily replaced. Instead I joined that organization’s board of directors because the time commitment was less and it was harder to find willing and appropriate directors. I found myself at one point leading two organizations in one year and also committed to two additional boards. I had meetings and events I was obligated to attend (or host) every five minutes it seemed. I quickly realized I needed to develop an exit strategy because this was not sustainable. Two of the organizations had a solid network of involved people and were willing and able to carry on without my active involvement.

When you are looking at ways to streamline your commitments, consider that “legacy planning” piece. If you were to step back, is there someone easily able to take your place? Will it leave a vacuum or are there others willing to shoulder some, if not all, of the burden? Can the work you are doing be spread around to multiple people to make it more manageable?

It is much easier to delegate and advise five people than it is to be the hands on person doing the work of five people. I found myself finally breathing and with a manageable workload during the pandemic when things were remote and my time was more flexible. I realized I did not miss physically going to a meeting and much preferred the ability to weigh in while also walking my dog or folding laundry.

Prioritizing my time and making sure I’m spending it on the things I really value, while also being more efficient with it, made a huge difference in my mental health and balance. I don’t answer phone calls. I let people leave messages and get back to them once I know what the issue is. Usually it can be solved with a text or email. Paying attention to the way we use our time (and others’ time) is important. We do not have to be as accessible as we have been. We can protect ourselves and our peace without guilt or shame. You can still help and contribute to others without giving so much of yourself that you get lost in the process.

Find ways to be less extended but still accessible. Valuing your own time is important. No one else will protect it more than you. Your time is valuable. Your priorities are just as important as anyone else’s and you are absolutely allowed to set boundaries and take steps back when you need to.

Giving of yourself without giving all of yourself is a hard balance to find. But it is necessary and important. Protect yourself from burnout.