Oof. Boyfriend and I have resolved that we’re keeping a budget this year. So at the end of each month we review our spending and enter it into a spreadsheet. And it is painful. We spend so much freaking money on such dumb stuff!

Our biggest expenditure is Amazon. Now granted, we buy some grocery/pantry items there and a lot of our pet care as well, but there is no reason it should be 1/3 of our monthly expenses.

We’re saving for a downpayment so we’ve been trying to be diligent about not eating out too much and not wasting money on things. And we were really good about that in the rebound from Christmas and in the early weeks of January. But somewhere along the line we got careless. We treated friends to dinner, we got lazy and went out to eat rather than cook at home, we didn’t feel like eating leftovers so we ordered in. In the process we managed to spend more than a car payment on eating out. That doesn’t even count the groceries we actually did purchase.

It is humbling to see that in black and white. Not that long ago we were both living pretty frugal and humble existences. But since getting together we’ve started living larger and larger. This isn’t inherently a problem, but it sure is a problem when it happens by accident.

A few single-click-purchases online and a couple impulse buys at the gas-station food mart and another few quick grocery runs because you’re really in the mood for a particular food and all of a sudden we’re spending hundreds of dollars more each week than we used to.

Lifestyle creep is the term we use when we start raising our standard of living right along with an increase in our income. When we take our foot off the gas of diligent and frugal living. It’s not a terrible thing. You work hard, you make better money, you should get to have better things. But you just can’t have ALL the better things. It’s the accidental part of if that’s the problem. If you want to splurge on a special family trip to celebrate your promotion or graduation, that’s WONDERFUL! But you can’t splurge all over the place in every facet of your life. That’s how people with six-figure incomes still live paycheck to paycheck. I have a six-figure income. I drive a paid off car with a dent in the fender and a rip on the front seat. It carries my dog around. It doesn’t need to be pretty. It drives really well and I’ll probably keep it for another five to ten years. My house has appreciated at least six figures since I bought it. I’m not selling and moving to something twice as expensive. I don’t need anything bigger and it’s not financially smart with the current housing market. I haven’t bought new suits in years and what “new” clothes I do buy are either significantly on sale or from second-hand shops…usually. Lately there’s been a lot more impulse online purchases and impulse meal purchases. That’s the creep part.

It’s not the end of the world. It’s not about shame and it’s not about guilt. It’s about paying attention and knowing where your money is going and making intentional purchases.

Be kind to yourself and your budget. But be intentional with your purchases. Treat yourself, but not all the time with everything.