Do you ever get caught up in the search for perfection? My dad calls it the paralysis of analysis. It is so easy to go down a rabbit hole and keep researching and stewing on a certain subject when really you just need to write the paper and turn it in.

It is so easy to get lost agonizing over the perfect phrasing or the perfect approach or the perfect whatever, that you never act. It took me a long time in my work to realize that I can’t help everyone all the time about everything. And I had to force myself to stop trying. I don’t always have the answer to every problem. But I have some answers to some problems sometimes. And that’s a huge help to those people that needed those answers at that time.

The part that matters is the trying. It’s the showing up. It’s consistency. Nobody will remember or care about that amazing thing you did on that one Thursday. But they’ll remember and care that you showed up to their performances on every opening night. They’ll love that you called them to touch base every Tuesday on your commute. They will keep you in the inner circle because you keep sending holiday cards and sending messages on their birthday.

Effort is what matters. Not perfection. I tell my family law clients this all the time. Kids bounce – they won’t remember a weekend or two that they didn’t get to see you because custody got wonky there for a bit. They’ll remember that you kept showing up. That you kept calling or texting. They’ll remember the effort. But they will not care at all if that bonding time came in the form of a happy meal and McDonald’s ball pit because you were swamped at work and couldn’t manage anything more or a home cooked meal that had you slaving away for hours.

People want to know they matter to you. Whether that’s coming home with their favorite bar of chocolate or just checking in periodically to remind them you’re thinking of them. Perfection is overrated and fleeting. Effort and consistency are worthwhile and hard. We can do hard things. We should do hard things.