This may be the only time in my life that I’ve agreed with Kanye West. On this ONE thing, he’s not wrong.

I know prenups get a bad rep. It’s one step worse and more taboo than talking about money. But if you’re ready to marry someone, you should be able to talk about both of these things reasonably and sympathetically. It’s a solid test of where your relationship is and whether you’re really ready to be together forever.

I jokingly told Boyfriend within the first month we were together (because he was all in from like day two…) that I wanted a prenup. For us it was pretty obvious. We had a huge disparity in our financial circumstances when we first got together. He had never had a credit card and had no credit score. Not a bad credit score, just no credit score at all. He bought cars off craigslist, got an apartment as part of his job, his history was working super hard for a year and then being a ski/surf bum for six months when he had burned himself out. Meanwhile I had created a business and was about ten years in. I had a lot of debt in the form of a mortgage and student loans. But I also had a way higher income potential and knew there were inheritance possibilities that include my parents’ beloved farm and other things that are significant to family but not necessarily to my future spouse.

These are the kinds of things to think of when you’re thinking of prenups. It’s not that you’re going in with an exit strategy. It’s not that you assume the worst of your future spouse. It’s disaster preparedness. It’s no different from having home or car or health insurance. You don’t go in to a home purchase expecting that it’s going to be gutted by a fire – but you plan for that possibility and make sure you’re covered. You don’t assume that you’re going to get in a horrific car accident and hurt someone. But just in case, you’ve made sure to prepare for that just in case. You don’t expect to get a cancer diagnosis that would physically and financially devastate you. Just in case though, you buy yourself some peace of mind.

So what’s the argument against prenups? Honestly, there aren’t any that aren’t social or psychological. Rationally speaking, there’s no reason not to. But it’s “icky” to talk about. And in certain circumstances when there is a huge discrepancy in the respective starting positions of the partners, a prenup can create a significant disparity if it is put into effect. But that’s something you can plan for and prepare for as well. We see a lot of this in Hollywood scripts. There’s the fatcat wealthy husband and the arm candy he ended up marrying and then later divorces for the newer model. And arm candy number one gets screwed in the divorce because of the prenup. There are a thousand things wrong with this narrative (she could/should have reviewed and adjusted the prenup before signing it, she could/should have saved money during the marriage to ensure some level of financial freedom in the event the relationship went south etc.)

At the end of the day, prenuptial agreements are about financial freedom and relationship health. When Boyfriend officially transitioned to Fiance, it was one of the first things we talked about…after the lovey dovey barfy stuff obviously. We talked about keeping our respective inheritances separate. We talked about excluding my house unless/until he does a huge renovation we have planned and has bought in with sweat equity. We even talked about having it be a limited duration – for example, if we make it ten years, we may decide to comingle certain things that were otherwise separate assets. But those are individual decisions we can make. However, we can only do that if we’re able to have free and open conversations about money without getting our feelings hurt about it.

Prenup requirements vary from state to state. Consult an attorney. The bar association of your state may help connect you with someone that can help. You want a family lawyer. Let me tell you, divorces where there’s a prenup are a LOT cheaper than divorces where there’s not. It’s a one-time insurance purchase when you’re both in love and at your best.

Think about others that get protected by a prenup as well. If you’re a blended family, you can preserve things for your children rather than having a step-parent have a right to a particular asset. You can keep family heirlooms and property in the family rather than going to a former spouse.

Give yourself and your family peace of mind. It’s essentially divorce insurance. Just like health, property, or car insurance, it’s not because you expect you’ll need it. It’s because you can’t control the world around you and you can’t know what will happen and just in case disaster strikes, you want to have some security in place.

Just say you’re worth it.