Do you remember the last time you actually stopped and were proud of yourself? I am terrible at this. I don’t know if this is a me thing or a woman thing or a family thing or just society in general, but I’m terrible at giving myself accolades. This is especially ridiculous for me because I am the WORLD’S cheerleader. I have entire relationships that boil down to a friend needing someone to tell them they did a good job so they call me so I’ll give them a gold star like the kindergarten teacher I am deep down.

I think positive reinforcement is super important. It doesn’t cost anything, it exists only to make someone feel better about themselves, and it builds connections in a world where we are constantly disconnected from others. Give ALL the gold stars. Tell people when they did a good job. Give positive reinforcement. You have no idea how many people just don’t get that in their lives and what a huge ray of sunshine it can be to someone.

But give gold stars to yourself too. This is where I fail. I am the first to minimize my achievements. Graduate from law school? Meh, it was nothing. Start your own business as an afterthought during a generational recession and keep the lights on? No biggy. Serve in leadership positions on non-profit boards and steer policy? Someone’s gotta do it. Develop a law school curriculum for two separate classes while also maintaining a full-time law practice and having no teaching experience? Why not?

Objectively speaking, my resume looks pretty swanky. But I still feel completely unqualified for every new challenge I undertake. And I will be the first to minimize my accomplishments.

I vividly remember a conversation with my aunt at my law school graduation. She had somehow managed in the space a few years in the 80s to divorce her alcoholic husband while raising two children under the age of five and fighting breast cancer and also get her MBA. Again, objectively speaking this woman is incredible. When I tried to minimize my graduation and its significance she sternly told me to stop. Take this day. It is a big deal and I should recognize the bigness of it. It is okay to acknowledge big accomplishments and give yourself a pat on the back.

It is ok to be proud of what you have accomplished. And it is worthwhile to take the time to find reasons to be proud of yourself. Do it every day. When you go to bed, reflect on your day and find something that you’re proud of yourself for doing. Did you put together an outfit you felt confident in? Did you make a presentation where you actually were prepared and knowledgeable when questioned? Did you manage to make it everywhere or even just somewhere on time? Was someone in your life struggling and you were patient and kind to them? Did you acknowledge that you were having a hard time yourself and express it to someone? Did you find some even tiny way to make the world a little bit better for yourself or others today? That is something to be proud of and it’s important to take the time to acknowledge it.

Today we did good. I’m proud of us. Let’s do it again tomorrow.