This is the time of year when most of us are run ragged for various reasons. We’re getting presents for everyone under the sun, we’re running low on funds because all those “annual” bills are starting to come due, we’re scrambling to get our end-of-year work projects and finances together, and most of us have a lot less daylight in which to accomplish all these things.

This year I’m doing my best not to lose sight of priorities and let things get too far “out of whack”, as they say.

I listened to a podcast recently (shoutout The Money With Katie Show) that explained the origins of self-care. It wasn’t about taking an afternoon to get a pedicure or massage, it was about reconnecting with yourself and your community.

When was the last time you connected with strangers? Do you touch base with your neighbors? Do you chat with people at the grocery store? Do you interact with people on public transportation or the sidewalk? I’ve realized my answer for all of these things is no. I don’t go out of my way to engage with random people throughout my day. And it has left me – and us a larger society – feeling very disconnected from one another. I have this whole theory about smart phones and earbuds speeding up our social isolation and disconnecting us from the societal fabric.

And that’s why we feel we need self-care in our current understanding of it. How many times do you go get a haircut and spend the entire time just chatting (and maybe even venting) to your stylist? The lady that waxes my legs knows more about my relationship than my therapist does. This is because we need those outlets. We need our social connections. And since we don’t have the ability to do that in society as we currently exist, we do it in a carefully curated environment like a salon.

Stop that. Self-Care is bigger than having lovely nails and great highlights. Self-care is truly about feeding your soul and giving your high-powered, be-all-things-to-all-people self a break.

So what fills you up and builds your community? Is it a group exercise class? Is it a wine and paint night at a local shop? Is it just browsing through local boutiques and chatting with the people behind the counter? Do you have local theater or lectures at the library? Does your town or neighborhood put together gatherings or events? This is especially the time of year when such things occur and it’s easy to get in on them.

A friend of mine used to put together a Christmas caroling party every year. The neighborhood would gather for cider and hot chocolate beforehand and then we’d wander around the neighborhood singing. For a lot of us it was the only time in the whole year we sang with others. I’d forgotten how filling that is for me.

I grew up in a small town and my parents still live there. When I head home for Christmas, the first few days are almost non-stop with friends and neighbors dropping by to deliver cookie plates or brownies or chex mix or other small treats. It builds connection and keeps even the busiest of people connected even once a year. It’s community.

As you’re baking this year, are you baking for others? Are you putting together any special favorites for your family that you could share around the neighborhood or the office or even your favorite delivery driver? I don’t know about you, but I’ve tested the fortitude of every Amazon, UPS, and USPS delivery person in my vicinity this Christmas. A little fudge or cookie tray would be welcome, I’m sure.

As you’re running ragged this time of year – as we all are – how are you building a connection? For yourself and for others? We have spent the last few years isolating. We have lost a lot of the social connections we once had. Reconnect. Re-engage. Take care of yourselves and one another. That’s what this time of year is all about right?